Top 30+ Witty Voicemail Messages and Cards

Leaving a voicemail doesn’t have to be plain or boring. Why not make it clever, cheeky, or even a little silly? For those who want their message to make a friend laugh, leave someone guessing, or just sound super cool on your phone, a witty voicemail can leave the right kind of mark. Below are some funny, playful, and unique voicemail messages for different vibes and situations; ready to give your phone a little personality check?

Witty Voicemail Messages

Can’t talk right now, probably arguing with my cat again. Meow back later.
I’m out on a mission, dodging suspicion, leave a message with conviction.
You’ve reached the laziest person alive, so lazy, I let this voicemail do all the talking.
Gone fishing, no permission, leave your voice with precision.
I’m either saving the world or napping like a legend. Guess which one.
I’m probably busy inventing excuses for not answering.

I’m probably busy inventing excuses for not answering.

Witty Voicemail Messages For Friends

If you’re calling for bail money, press 1. If it’s for pizza, I’m already there.
I missed your call with style and grace, now leave your voice in this tiny space.
Your favorite friend isn’t near the phone, probably making questionable decisions.
Ran from my phone with flair and zing, now drop your words and let them ring.
I’m somewhere doing something weird, shocker, right?
I’m avoiding adulting. Be a pal, drop your news after the beep.

Short Funny Voicemail Greetings

Too cool to answer. Too smart to ignore. Talk after the tone.
Out like a trout with a pout, leave your shout or figure it out.
Can’t talk, too busy pretending to be productive.
In a jam, not on the ‘gram, leave your drama like a slam.
I’ll call you back when I feel famous enough.
This is the part where you talk and I ignore it later.

Witty Voicemail Messages For Android

This Android is set to ignore humans. Try your luck anyway.
My system’s down with a frown, leave your tone and stick around.
I’ve upgraded to silent mode and downgraded human interaction.
Out of touch with such a punch, speak your truth then grab some lunch.
If this call was urgent, it’s now a waiting game.
I’m currently unavailable, like every good software update.
Don’t ask Siri, she’s too uptight.

Don’t ask Siri, she’s too uptight.

Witty Voicemail Messages For iPhone

This iPhone is busy judging your ringtone.
Siri said not to answer. I trust her more than myself.
If you’re calling with flair and care, leave your words floating in air.
I’ve reached my weekly screen time. Beep wisely.
If you think this is being recorded by Apple, you’re probably right.

Cute Girl Voicemail Greetings

Can’t answer now, my lipstick’s busy being fabulous.
You called a cutie with no time for drama; try again after tea.
Not here, my dear, but your words are safe and clear.
If you’re charming enough, maybe I’ll call you back.
Gone being adorable elsewhere. Beep after your compliment.

Witty Voicemail Message For Someone Who Still Hasn’t Called You Back

If you’re waiting for their call like it’s a suspense movie with no ending, it’s time to drop a cool voicemail that makes them giggle. Say something like “Since you ghosted me like a magician’s hat trick, I thought I’d charm your voicemail instead”. Want one with even more sass? Message the Msgito Team and snag a voicemail line that stands out louder than a llama in a library.