25+ Funny Holiday Card Messages and Wishes

Here’s a fun and playful batch of holiday card messages to fit all kinds of people and situations; perfect for when you’re in the mood to laugh instead of getting all serious. Whether you’re writing to your hilarious best friend, your sarcastic coworker, or the person who bailed on you last December, these messages will give your holiday cards some serious personality.

Funny Holiday Card Messages

If this card had glitter, your carpet would never forgive me.
Sleigh bells ring, I forgot to cling…to my sanity this season.
Hoping your holiday is less awkward than your family dinners.
Eat, sleep, regret cookie choices, repeat.
Keep calm and pretend we’re all on top of things.
Snow and glow, my brain’s on low; it’s holiday mode, let’s go!
Santa saw your browser history and left you socks.
May your tree stay up longer than my willpower.

May your tree stay up longer than my willpower.

Funny Holiday Card Messages For Friends

Wishing you laughs, leftovers, and no fruitcake attacks.
Cheers to us; two hot messes in ugly sweaters, more or less.
Your friendship is the gift I didn’t ask for but won’t return.
May your drinks be cold and your relatives distant.
Warning: I’m only here for the snacks and gossip.
Elf on a shelf, toast to our stealth; dodging plans like top-shelf wealth.
Friendship like ours deserves extra cookies and fewer expectations.
Sending you cheer that lasts longer than my holiday budget.

Funny Holiday Card Messages To Colleagues

May your vacation emails be turned off before your brain is.
Work is out, rhyme it out; joy beats spreadsheets, there’s no doubt.
Wishing you silent group chats and louder coffee breaks.
Hope your Wi-Fi stays strong and your boss stays silent.
Holidays: when deadlines take naps too.
Tinsel and tasks, let’s ditch the masks; we earned this joy, no asks.
Forget productivity, aim for pie-consumption excellence.
Here’s to recharging more than just your devices.

Short Funny Holiday Sayings

Sleigh my name, sleigh my name.
Wrap it up, nap it up; holiday goals, just my cup.
‘Tis the season to forget passwords again.
Less ho-ho-ho, more no-no-no to invites.
Zero chill, maximum treats.
Mistletoe and hot cocoa, let it snow and glow.
Claus is coming…hide the snacks.
Cookie calories don’t count in December.

Funny Holiday Card Messages For Family

Family: the only people allowed to insult you with love.
Hugs and mugs, bugs in rugs; holidays bring all the shrugs.
Let’s pretend we like each other until January.
Same genes, different levels of weird.
Snowflakes and flakes, laughter that shakes; our family’s chaos never breaks.
Nothing says “holiday spirit” like fighting over board games.
Hope your holidays are better than Aunt Linda’s casseroles.
Love you more than leftover turkey; and that’s big.

Love you more than leftover turkey; and that’s big.

Funny Holiday Card Messages To Someone Who Canceled Your Plans Last Year

Don’t worry, this card isn’t an invitation.
Sleigh it and delay it; you ghosted, now replay it.
Wishing you joy, even if your calendar hates commitment.
You missed the party, but not the group chat gossip.
May your holiday be more dependable than your RSVP skills.
Silent nights and flaky flights; you owe me two festive bites.
Cheers to the season you didn’t show up for.
If I had a nickel for every canceled plan…I’d buy you a planner.

Finally, you can contact us for something creative, just drop us a message with the details about your special holiday message, and we will surely leave you impressed.